One of the most awkward and sometimes embarrassing things about evangelical life is the element of prayer, and the expectation that your prayers will be spontaneous and extemporaneous, usually beginning with: “Lord, I just…….”
Shortly after I had “recommited my life to Christ,” I enrolled in a systematic theology course at an evangelical seminary taught by an esteemed British theologian whose prayers sounded like poetry.
On the second day of class, he looked right at me and asked me to lead the class in prayer. I was perhaps the only non ministry professional in the room and was left trembling as we all bowed our heads. I managed to keep it short and not embarrass myself, but I spent the rest of the class thinking about better words I could have chosen to make myself stand out – never mind what God thought about it all!
I wanted to be a spontaneous prayer warrior, and from that point on, worked very hard to memorize certain phrases and the language of ”christianeze” to demonstrate my status as a godly man.
Years later, this is still a struggle and I would say is one of the main factors in my realization of the un-fullness of my Christian life. I’ve been through proper training on this. At our first small group Bible study, we had a MacArthur Study Bible-toting guy who set the pray-aloud standard for all the men, and each week I would measure my prayers against his, having memorized scriptures and ripped off lines from others.
The pressure to pray aloud eloquently and spontaneously is huge, but for me the result is almost always unsatisfying. At the peak of my frustration I encountered Scot McKnight’s Praying With The Church, a book that has revolutionized my understanding of the meaning of The Church, and no doubt led me on the eastward path.
For two-and-a-half years, I’ve prayed with The Divine Hours prayer book and have found a treasure I never would have discovered in low church evangelicalism. More importantly, I’ve learned how Biblical it is to offer prayers with the church at set times.
My new understanding and practice of prayer has elicited some confusion. Once as I was headed out the door my wife said she thought we should pray about something before I left. My first impulse was to begin with “Lord we just……” But I caught myself and simply recited the Lord’s Prayer.
She looked at me like I was nuts while shaking her head in disappointment. All I could say was that it was the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples to pray and if it was good enough for them, it was good enough for me.
I love the way intercessory prayers are done in Orthodox liturgy, when the names of individuals are sung by the Priest. It is so simple, but powerful in that it is a direct petition to God without all the extemporaneous “vain repetitions” that characterizes so much of what I hear in my circles.
Tomorrow I’m taking my teenage adopted Ukrainian daughters to a Slavonic Liturgy, and I pray they will see the beauty in the ancient prayers of the Church.
“I caught myself and simply recited the Lord’s Prayer.
She looked at me like I was nuts while shaking her head in disappointment.”
You know, I was going over this in my head just this morning. Folks who come from any exposure to charismaticism (and the people we know and love who’re still there) are put off at first by the formal, rote prayers instead of fervent, personalized ones. Granted, the latter do tend to provide a sense of owning one’s faith — and that is indispensable — but the former need not preclude said ownership, either.
One thing I notice about Orthodox prayers of blessing is how they’re very patriarchial, very much aware of the “God of our Fathers.” In weddings, the Lord is invoked to bless them as Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Rachel. When we travel, we are reminded of our Lord’s journey into Egypt. This reminds me of the Old Testament, where “God was reminded” of all He had done for Israel when they petitioned Him for something else. We, too, “remember all those things which have come to pass for us” in offering up the bread and wine in the most solemn request we can make.
So…I guess if I were going to pray something, I’d just think of some Bible story that had some relationship to what was going on with you and your wife, then ask God to bless y’all as He blessed them. If it were me.
The point is, I’ve seen how the prayers of the Church have started to mold my spontaneous prayers. Hope that came through clearly.
Excellent post and so true. I recall a new person who “re-set the bar” for opening prayers at my old Church and within a couple months after he prayed a couple times (he got popular with the worship team and they’d assign him opening/closing prayers regularly), everyone’s prayers began sounding like his, including phrases, topics, and even body posture and voice inflections. So, yes, people are looking for “better prayers”, we know “good prayer” when we hear it, it can be an ego thing. Liturgical prayer was a slam dunk for me because I had exactly the same thoughts/experiences you did. I often wonder why it is so hard for evangelicals to accept liturgical prayer after witnessing and experiencing these universal issues and experiences with extemporaneous public prayer?
Your comments on prayer sound very familiar. I once went to a church whose pastor had been trained in the poetic British tradition; during the pray-out-loud sessions on Sundays, they were always a step above the “Lord I just” prayers. Being pushed to pray myself, I always became filled with adrenaline, heat, and sweat, and an oppressive consciousness of being judged by every word that came out of my mouth. I felt overwhelming relief at finishing more than any other emotion. I benefitted greatly from our time at that church, but that was one major scar that has been a hindrance to me since.
Coming to standardized liturgical prayers has been a kind of “best of both worlds” thing; you have the beauty and simplicity, and generally you are able to pray for anything that could (or should) be on your mind.
Yep, this has been me, too. I remember once I got complimented on a mealtime prayer I was asked to give at my grandma’s house on Thanksgiving. I hated being complimented on prayer. Several years ago, I stopped praying in public for quite sometime and even had a lot of difficulty with spontaneous prayer in private. When I got into the 12-step stuff, I loved having the serenity prayer and the 3rd step prayer available to me. (I just said these both this morning walking to the bus, after my mind started wandering from the Jesus prayer.)
I still have trouble with praying in public — mealtimes, etc — with other Protestants, because I don’t want to feel like i’m praying what they would want to hear instead of being genuine. I do heowever love the liturgical prayers that are already there for me, and I’ve come to feel that they express nearly everything I need to. When I start praying with my own words, I’m very aware of how it all sounds like ego-centric journal entry from high school. That’s my experience anyway.
Great post. Sometimes I think we know each other from somewhere. Keep praying.
Great post! I understand this completely. At first, I was a little worried when I started researching Orthodoxy. I was sad that they couldn’t pray from their hearts. However, I soon learned that it is those rote prayers that help you pray when you can’t pray.
Just after 4 visits to an Orthodox Church, my Dad had an aortic disection. This is when the aorta just rips away from the heart. Most people die immediately from it. My father had to be flown to a big city with a really nice heart hospital. He had to have a 10 hour emergency open heart surgery. I had to stay home and keep down the fort. I was so scared but I couldn’t pray. The only thing that came to my mind was part of the Trisagion Prayers “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal have mercy on us.” I said this all night. Actually, I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying this through me. It gave me so much comfort. I had the peace that surpassed all understanding. This was over 2 years ago, and I have loved the prayers of the Church ever since.
A few months ago, I was talking to a co-worker. She had some interest in Orthodoy and I had given her a few books to read. One day, I offered to pray for her about something. We sat down and I prayered for her. Afterwards, she was very surprised and said that her impression was that Orthodox don’t pray any prayers on their own. I said that we were free to pray on our own but that we did use a lot of prayers passed down to us from the Church Fathers.
Also, when I was a Protestant, I wasn’t good at doing intercessory prayers. It always wore me out. I felt like I had to tell God everything that was going on with the person. This is so silly. God knows everything that is going on with them. As a Orthodox, I am so much better at intercessory prayer. Every morning I read through all of the names in the church directory and pray that the Lord grant them health, peace, and salvation.
The Orthodox way is much simpler and more efficient. I actually feel like I am praying for people.
“The Orthodox way is much simpler and more efficient. I actually feel like I am praying for people.”
This seems like an odd statement, but I totally get it. I’ve not been on this path long, but I already feel like I can say “I’ll pray for you ” and mean it. I’ve been much more “successful” in keeping those people in my mind and heart by asking the Lord to have mercy on them than I ever was when I tried to figure out what they needed and told God about it.
I can identify with all that everybody is saying on this subject. My first exposure to rote prayer was the Serenity and 3rd step prayers. I memorized them and prayed them every day in the first couple of years of my recovery and still pray them occasionally. It was a way of letting go of my agenda which is crucial in recovery. The year-and-a-half long journey into Orthodoxy that I’m on has done nothing but expand my prayer life exponentially! I’ve never loved praying more, and the prayers are overwhelmingly rote prayers. They are beautiful, they teach me how to pray and they connect me to the vast cloud of witnesses that have gone before me. I’ve learned that prayer isn’t about me changing God’s mind as it is about me being changed by coming into contact with Him. I also pray for people more often and offer to pray for people more because I know that I more than likely will actually pray for them. Sometimes I still forget, though. I have to say this is fast becoming my favorite blog, thanks for sharing!